A beautiful, unique rainbow is always best.

Onward with the big, fat lesbian wedding planning journey

First thing to tackle:


I had a planning revelation this week over “colors.”  Yes, you read that right– a revelation.  I was perusing the website of the photographer I did NOT choose whose online survey insisted on the following information:

* What are your wedding colors?

* What will the bridesmaids be wearing?

* How many attendants will you have?

* Please specify the type of footwear every single person participating in your ceremony, your reception and your honeymoon will wear– and exactly what color each shoe will be.

Okay, so maybe that last part was a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea.

Truth is, I don’t know my “colors.”

I really like blue and I hope to find a thrift-shop-gem of a cerulean blue dress in which to dance down the aisle.  Heck, I also like peach and rose, most browns, and certain shades of pink…  In fact, I’ve become sort of a “rainbow” gal lately– pun completely intended.  So all these color questions sent me straight into a mini-panic.

Had I already picked “my colors” by accident??

I had sent out some cards with save-the-date refrigerator magnets.  The magnets matched the colors in the picture I chose– dark red, gray, light blue.  But the cards were actually pink and brown with maybe a little gold somewhere in there… kind of a funky pattern… oh whatever, I don’t really remember.  I just thought they looked cool.

But should I have thought all this through?  Did my colors now have to be red and gray? And what about the reception decor?  The invitations?  The flowers?  Was everything supposed to match??

Just when I was about to call the amazing photographer I DID choose and insist on only black and white prints to save my sanity….

I remembered what my grandmother taught my mom:

“If you love it, buy it– it will go.”

Meaning if you’re trying to coordinate your living room in all browns and blues and cream, but you fall head-over-heels in LOVE with an orange afghan with purple flowers… well then, go ahead and bring that afghan home.  Because the simple truth is that the human eye isn’t always as good a judge as the human heart.  If you coordinate your “colors” with your heart, instead of trying to focus your eyes on what “should” match up according to some style magazine, you will never go wrong.

Kind of a neat life lesson, don’t ya think?

So here’s the Grateful Lesbian Bride’s Wedding Planning Tip #1:

If you love it, go with it and ignore anyone who asks about your “colors.”  Because in the end, a beautiful, unique rainbow is always best.

What if one day really could make all the difference?

What if one relationship could change the world?  What if love really is everything and with just a simple shared vision, two people could create something beyond all expectations?

When I met my beautiful girl nearly two years ago, I knew I’d finally found where I am supposed to be.  Yes, I had a sense of purpose before then.  I’d spent over a decade raising two children, and countless years more learning about myself and the world.  I am grateful for all my experiences, the challenges, joys and sorrows.  I have no regrets about anything that came before this time.

But there is something amazingly, wonderfully, refreshingly different about the new love I’ve found.  For the first time, all the parts of me– my strengths & rough spots, my deep desires & outer facade, my hopes & fears, my past & future– are perfectly aligned in this present moment.  I have nothing to hide, nothing to pretend.  Because I am finally home.

This is the gift my girl gives to me– the chance, through a true love partnership, to recover my lost parts and grow into the fully alive, joyful woman-at-peace I am meant to be.

I am so immensely grateful for this gift that when my girl proposed on October 19, 2012, I began to imagine the creation of a celebration as uniquely aligned with the world as we are together.  This blog is about my journey to find a way for our one ordinary wedding day to make an extraordinary difference.